Learn To be strong

"No matter what, once in your life, someone will hurt you. That someone will take all that you are, and rip it into pieces and they won’t even watch where the pieces land. But through the breakdown, you’ll learn that you’re strong, and no matter how hard they destroy you, that you can conquer anything. "

-onyx

Fading

Maybe I should not keep waiting...for Him.

-onyx

Addicted to Love

Complications happen to be everywhere. In simple cases or hard ones.
Some say " Life has a way of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once." Well, I've got the first part.

I AM used to simple life.. or rather boring life than simple. But a few things have changed since I am in the most wondrous realtionship of my life. At the beginning I wanted to live. To try new things, to make mistakes without caring about parents. Most of all, I wanted to impress Him. By being so cool and not whinning like a stupid chick, taking his wrong moves so easy so He won't complain about me.

I'm not sure that it was a good thing.

Actually, I fooled myself. I'm not the girl with the passion of living. I'm not the one either to party hard, or even to enjoy life (like an average college student would do). I wanted to change it, really. I haven't managed though. And I don't know how to do that. Deep down, I have the feeling of the break out, but no one could set it free yet. This means that later He will know I'm not the one. Not good enough for Him.

Maybe lately we've been spending too much time together, or time that weren't useful or eventful enough.

I love Him. I swear I do. It's exactle like we are meant to be. It's a treasure that He gave me. He gave a part of Himself. That part is my little Treasure that I want to keep. I cannot lose it.  But how...?





-onyx

Express your thoughts

-onyx

"I wish love was like volleyball.. you call 'mine' and everyone backs off."

-onyx

The Date

 <3

-onyx

Animal Crackers

And I had a dream.
No.
More than one dream of Him.
And those dreams had one song. twice.
That is His song, from now.
 It is His song because when I thought I lost Him, the song brought Him back - Reminding me to tell Him what I really feel. Because He deserves the truth. My truth.

-onyx

Beautiful Indifference

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. "

Egy bizonytalan váljon biztossá...csak most az egyszer.

Mert Senkihez sem kötődöm igazán annyira, hogy zavarjon, hogy elmegy...

-onyx

Amikor minden idegen

Amikor minden idegen...
Amikor nem érzed, hogy a "mi"-be én is oda tartoznék...
Amikor utálsz mindent, ha megkérdezik, miért..
   Mert válaszolni nem mersz.
Amikor nem vagy része a közegnek...
Amikor letörsz, mert megint bíztál valamiben...
Amikor újra fogadsz, hogy nem lesz több ilyen...
   Még egyszer nem hibázol...
Amikor mindenki elnéz feletted...
Amikor csak hazamenni van értelme...
Amikor már nem keresnek...

Amikor már minden idegen...

Ez lenne az inspiráció...?

-onyx

contradiction

I have read a book, which is called The Alchemist. It says that if you really want something then the universe will do its best to help you.

How does it relate to this post?

I talked to someone today about love-issues. That he loves someone who does not love him back. I could say that I am in the same situation, but that is not the real thing.
I like a guy. (I like more guys, though.) But he is like...he seems something more. Why? Because he keeps turning up when I feel sad or desperate. He is the light in the dark. (Like a sign)
We talk a lot. At least we talked. However, he still feels so distant to me. That is why I find him interesting. As a platonic love.

But same school, I don't want any of my classmates to know that I like him ( or whatever) or we would even be about to date each other. I don't want to date him because I care too much about what others are thinking ( involving my friends). They say I should ask him out! Helloo... Why would I? I'm the girl.. He's really shy though.. I wish that someone would kick hiss ass and would tell him to take the first step. Ugh.

Sometimes I miss him a lot, but the next is like I don't want anything from him. Why does it keep changing? Why do I have a second thought which then destroy the first "love" thought? Why does this second thought ruins everything?

God, give me a sign. A last and powerful one.



-onyx